On Thursday June 3, I had the opportunity to attend an event called The Modern Day Matchmaker hosted by the real life Hitch, Paul Carrick Brunson and moderated by Nikki Nokes, author of “Maybe It’s You”
The event consisted of about 6 panelist from different walks of life who were all experts in their on right when it comes to relationship building. Lola Adesioye of LolaCreative.com, Demetria Lucas, Relationship Editor at Essence and Author of ABelleinBrooklyn.com, Damon Young aka “The Champ” of VerySmartBrothers.com, Anslem Samuel of NakedWithSocksOn.com and Jozen Cummings of UntilIGetMarried.com. As I am listening to each of them speak and give their thoughts on how to maintain relationships whether it be dating tips or how to keep your marriage together, I thought how can I apply this to business.
I believe a relationship whether business or personal are derived from the same basic concepts and are built in the same manner. At first sight there must be a spark a connection of some sorts that catches your attention this is why many say first impression is everything. Based off of the initial encounter is what usually determines whether or not a person plans on continuing to pursue or build said relationship. From my experience, during networking rarely do I ever feel that spark or feeling that many of the individuals are willing to commit to building a partnership and/or relationship. I find that many people are selfish and they come with an agenda to push their business and pitch you the entire time without engaging in a decent conversation. It is similar to the person who talks about themselves on the first date for the first 20 minutes. When speaking to someone you want to be exchanging thoughts and holding a conversation. People want to know a person is genuinely interested in what they have to say, this is when trust is formed and the bond grows stronger within the relationship. So when meeting for the first time you must remember to share ideas no one wants to be talked at they want to be talked to. Sounds like common knowledge but you would be surprised at how many people make this mistake.
The art of actual conversation is like speaking Sanskrit, not sure what that is, that is because it is a dead language. Engaging in dialogue seems to have died like chivalry with the increasing use of social networks. Ironically these networks have caused many to be less social and to hide behind their online persona’s they have created. Demetria made a great point at the event about individuals no longer even providing their true credentials such as a business card but ask you to follow them on twitter, look them up on Facebook or my #petpeeve Google Me. I am not sure when this became the norm but this is a no, no, when networking, if you cannot explain who you are and what you do in a concise manner there is a problem. Now I have no problem with following you on twitter, becoming a friend on Facebook and best believe I am going to Google you anyway to make sure you are who you say you are. Plus I engage in social networking I believe more so than the average person but I am also a firm believer of meeting in person especially when conducting business. You want to ensure that the person is serious about their craft and is a true representation of what they have been portraying especially if your only interaction is online.
Following up has also suffered tremendously in this new age of technology. Many people seem to have forgotten how to remind the person that they are still interested and enjoyed the conversation and interactions that they had. I say treat it like a second date, when interested you want to reach out let the person know, hey I had a good time and would like to exchange ideas some more. The objective of the second meeting is to continue to build a relationship and to ensure this is the right connection for you. You don’t want to waste anyone’s time by prolonging it so make sure to follow up in a timely matter at least a week from meeting the person. That way if either of you are not interested you can move forward to new opportunities without wondering what if.
Just a few dating networking tips to remember when you go out to your next event.
Best,
Africa